Auschwitz and Birkenau

      Sorry this is coming so late!  I thought I had avoided whatever was going around during the travelling seminar only to wake up the day after feeling terrible.  I'm finally starting to feel like myself again, so I'm back to the blog!
      After we left lovely Krakow we drove to Auschwitz.  The nervous pit in my stomach formed the night before and built as we drove.  I've never experienced anything as real, if that's the right word, as Auschwitz.  I've seen movies with brutality, movies about the holocaust even, but I'd never actually experienced anything this wholly sad and cruel up close and personal.

Entrance to Auschwitz I

      As I got off the bus and laid eyes on the camp my breath got caught in my throat.  The barbed wire fences and dilapidated brick buildings gave off an eerie feel.  I felt like I was stepping into a horror house (though I've only been to one and seem to have wiped the entire experience from my memory).  I found myself constantly repeating "but this is real" in my head the entire tour.  The first set of blocks were about the daily life at the camp.  A model showed the food given to each person daily including two bowls of brown water called coffee, a bowl of "soup" which was really just more water, and a piece of bread.  They would drink their water, then go to work for the entire day.  When someone moved too slowly, or couldn't go on at all, they were brutally punished and killed.  The prisoners were forced to carry their dead and dying companions back to camp at the end of the day.

Endless Fences

      The next blocks were dedicated to the prisoners deaths.  This was the most striking part of the exhibit to me.  The first room we walked into had a model of a gas chamber that was destroyed by the Nazis before liberation to hide their crimes.  The model was truly a piece of poignant art and was horrifying to look at.  In the next room, behind a wall of glass were piles and piles of hair.  Human hair.  The Nazis shaved the heads of their prisoners to sell and make cloth out of; in fact, some of the nazi uniforms were made of human hair.  When the camp was liberated, 7 tons of hair were found at the camp, and while an entire room was filled with it, the hair shown was less then half of the hair found.  The rest of the rooms were filled with other possessions of those murdered including glasses, suitcases, clothing, and toys.  Each room was just as shocking as the last, and they seemed to go on and on.

Blocks

      Just when I thought it would never end, we moved on to the last set of blocks: the camp prison.  There were multiple kinds of cells the Nazis used to torture and kill those who broke the harsh rules in the camp.  There were starvation cells where people were kept with no food until they starved to death, suffocation cells where groups of people were stuffed into rooms with no windows until they ran out of oxygen, and standing cells where a few people would be forced into a tiny box of a room with no room to move or sit.  The halls and rooms were small and claustrophobic and I felt like I was running out of air as we moved from one to another.  Needless to say, I was happy to get out of that block.
      My happiness did not last long as I learned the last destination of our tour: the one remaining gas chamber.  I was extremely nervous for this portion of the tour.  I wasn't sure if I could handle such an experience.  I didn't want to block out the emotions I felt at Auschwits, but at the same time, I saw no other possible option.  I wasn't sure I would be capable of handling whatever I was bound to feel in the gas chamber.  I took a deep breath and entered the three rooms.  The first room was extremely small and was meant for changing.  Prisoners were told to remember which hook they hung their clothes on so they could retrieve them after their shower... The next room was the gas chamber.  It was much smaller than I expected, and didn't have the shower heads that are depicted in movies.  Instead the poison, a German cleaning chemical, was dumped into holes in the ceiling.  Because the room was so small, I didn't fully realize where I was until I entered the next room: the crematorium.  The huge oven looking devices were used to burn the bodies of the dead.  As I left the gas chamber I took a huge gulp of air and realized I had been holding my breath the entire time.
      I was happy the tour was over as we drove towards our lunch break which was much more light and at least semi-happy, though everyone was in a somber mood after the morning. We quickly wrapped up lunch and loaded on the bus for the second tour of the day: Birkenau.
      Birkenau was huge.  Much much larger than I ever imagined.  The entrance was extremely creepy, though I've seen it in pictures many times.  The platform inside was something from a horror movie.  I could picture the prisoners unloading the train anxious and happy to resettled in the East like the Nazis had promised.  Instead they found two pillars of fire rising from the gas chambers only meters away.  According to testimonies from survivors, fire was constantly pouring from the chimneys, and the stench of death clung to the camp like a disease.  The prisoners were separated into two groups: those fit for labor and those fit for death.  The prisoners that were not lucky enough to be sentenced to hard labor and brutal living conditions were marched straight to the gas chambers.  Some unlucky Jewish prisoners, called the Sonderkommand, were forced to remove gold teeth and shave the heads of the corpses.  Occasionally a Sonderkommand worker would recognize a neighbor, friend, or even wife or child among the dead.

Platform

      As we stood by the destroyed gas chambers our tour guide read testimonials of survivors.  The most horrifying of which described how a member of the Sonderkommand found a child still alive among the dead.  He brought her to the Nazi commander to beg for her life.  Instead, the commander threw the child to the ground and snapped her neck with a stomp of his boot.
      Birkenau is mostly a sea of ruins today.  All that is left of almost all the blocks are rows and rows of chimneys from unused heating systems.  The entire camp feels like a huge grave yard.  After spending the day walking around the camp we finally headed to our hotel for the night: a Monastery (a unique and bizarre experience in its own right).

Ruins

      The one who does not remember history is bound to live through it again. - George Santayana.  This quote hung in one of the rooms in Auschwitz I.  Though there were many similarly touching quotes throughout the exhibit, this one in particular struck me.  This quote explains perfectly why I love history and decided to become a history major.  I have always believed that we can learn so much from history and that one is a fool to look forward without looking back.  I'm extremely thankful for the experience I had had Auschwitz and Birkenau and will never forget how I felt that day.  Though as I left Oświęcim it struck me how cruel humankind can be, my final thought was not one of shame or sadness, but amazement at how strong, brave, and full of love humanity can be when facing such cruelty.

- Patty

First Stop: Krakow

      As large men in uniforms stepped onto our bus to check our passports, it hit me we were about to enter Poland! The landscape was largely bleak, overrun with out of date industrial buildings left from communist times. After several hours we pulled into Krakow and I found the beauty of Poland. We quickly checked in and bundled up for our tour. Our tour guide was great; we quickly warmed to him as he teased our program director who informed us that Czechs hate Poles... Whatever you say Jiří. Despite the heavy snow and intense cold it was easy to fall for the small city. My favorite thing about Krakow is the unique way the government decided to utilize the space left after the fortifications were torn down. Instead of turning the space into a large avenue like most cities, the government planted trees and grass to create a large park that circles the city. I could picture the ring of nature around the compact city center as a beautiful run in warmer days.

View as we walked into Old Town

      After our tour we headed to dinner for our traditional Polish meal. I guess I had never made the connection that perogies are Polish despite my love for them. Needless to say, I was in for an unexpected treat. The perogies were filled with cheese, potatoes, spinach, meat, mushrooms, saurkraut, you name it. I'll have to learn to make fresh perogies, the frozen American version just won't cut it anymore.

Perogies!

      The next morning I joined the Jewish studies kiddos for a Jewish tour of Krakow. We saw all seven synagogues, the cemetery, and several sights where Schindler's List was filmed. After stuffing my face with more perogies, I joined the Central European group for Schindler's Factory. The museum was extremely engaging and creative. Even the floors were part of the exhibits, covered in swastika tiles at one point, gravel at another, and even a soft rubber surface that felt like mud to step on. We finished the day with a lecture on gender during communism which was extremely interesting. I was shocked and disappointed to learn that abortion is currently illegal in Poland. I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised seeing that Poland is the most Catholic country I've been to outside of the Vatican. Krakow is home to over 120 Catholic sites of worship. I swear they're like McDonalds in the US: one around every corner. We ended our first full day with a traditional Polish meal from a stand consisting of a hunk of bread with cheese, mushrooms, and other toppings before heading for some drinks with our program director. It was fun to get to know him better.

      We toured the communist built town of Nowa Huta the next morning. The area was built as a communist ideal neighborhood for workers at the steel mill that was the pride and joy of the Soviet government. The neighborhood was extremely imposing and amazingly symmetrical. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed the area. My favorite moment of the tour was when our guide was showing us a picture of a giant Lenin statue that used to stand in a square when this little old lady hobbled over on her cane to peer over his shoulder and say "ah yes, our father Lenin" in Polish of course. Hah what? We headed back to the center of Krakow to meet with a member of the Righteous of the Nations, a group of families and individuals who helped save people from persecution during the Holocaust. She told us her story in which she saved a group of Jews from being sent to concentration camps and probable death by hiding them in her attic. She informed us that the image of Poland as the site of the Holocaust and antisemitism is false and stories like hers must be told to prove this. She was a beautiful person and her story was extremely touching.

Righteous Among the Nations

      I quickly visited Wawel hill with the castle before sunset to snap a few pictures and enjoy the view. I finished my day and stay in Krakow with the Polish drink of choice: vodka. Jiří informed me that you must sip Polish vodka, unlike American vodka which is disgusting. I took his word for it, though it tasted pretty nasty to me regardless.

View from Wawel Hill

      I really enjoyed Krakow, but I'm not sure I could stay in Poland for an extended period of time. The whole place just makes me feel a little on edge. It might be the whole Catholic, conservative, slightly intolerant (that might even be too forgiving) thing but I never felt comfortable like I have in other European cities. I know I can't view the entirety of Poland as antisemitic, and I definitely don't, but that place is definitely not about to join hands with all people and sing Kumbaya any time soon. I imagine that feeling will not get any better when I visit Auschwitz tomorrow. I'm extremely nervous for the trip, especially after visiting Terezin. I'm not sure how to react at a site where so much pain and death took place, and I'm even more nervous that I won't feel anything at all. I'm really good at shutting hard things out and brushing off bad feelings. It's usually a trait I'm proud of that makes me feel strong during rough situations. But tomorrow will be a day I want to allow myself to feel weak and be sad. I know it will be extremely hard and draining, but I also know the only way to face something as terrible as the crimes against humanity perpetrated by the Nazis is to feel some pain.


Wish me luck. At the very least, the next few days will be an experience I'll never forget.

Na Zdrowie!
Patty

Emotional Excursions

      The first weekend of March I turned 21 and our program visited Lidice and Terezin. Both days were extremely emotional and sad, but really good experiences.
      On Friday the Central European Studies program drove to Lidice. In 1941 Reinhard Heydrich became the Protektor of the Protektorate of Bohemia and Moravia. He immediately declared martial law and quickly turned the Czech government into his puppets. He was extremely brutal and played a large part in the thinking behind and creation of the 'final solution' to the 'Jewish problem'. Needless to say he wasn't the best guy in the world. Meanwhile Czech resistance was growing, especially abroad. Two Czech paratroopers were selected by the Czech provisional government and trained by the British to carry out a mission to illustrate that the Nazi regime and its leadership were not untouchable. They dropped down in the Czech Republic in 1942 and after several months of planning were finally ready. On May 27th 1942 the two men jumped in front of Heydrich's open convertible (the only Nazi leader cocky and dumb enough to drive without protection). One paratrooper pulled the trigger, but his gun malfunctioned and jammed up. The other paratrooper threw a grenade that hit the vehicle and exploded before the two men ran. Heydrich died in a hospital of blood poisoning a few days later. The two paratroopers along with a few other British trained resistance fighters holed up in the catacombs of a church before one of their fellow resisters betrayed them. The men were killed in the church two weeks after the assassination, but only after putting up a ferocious fight.

Window to the Catacombs

      Hitler arrested and killed hundreds of people after Heydrich's assassination. In the end, Hitler singled out the small town of Lidice and took his revenge on the Czech people. Every man over 16 was shot immediately, the women were all sent to concentration camps, and the children were gassed in trucks after being starved for a few days. The town was then burned and dynamited to teach the Czech Republic a lesson.
      The site of the town today is home to an extremely emotional museum and several memorials. Part of the museum was dedicated to the children of Lidice where a recording of children reading the last letters the children wrote to family members days before their death played. The children begged for food and clothing to be sent along with thanks and promises to return the favor. After the museum we walked to the children's memorial which was very well done, and the mass grave of the men.

Children's Memorial

      We ended the day talking to a woman who was sent from Lidice and survived in a labor camp only to find that her father had been killed along with the rest of her former home. Her story was exceptionally sad, but right when we had lost all hope in humanity she shared the story of how she met her husband (adorable) and all hope was restored.

Woman who Survived Lidice

      Sunday was even more difficult. I joined the Jewish Studies program to visit Terezin, which was a concentration camp used by the Nazis for propaganda. The small town is nearly empty today, and feels a lot like a movie set rather than a historical site or a town. We got a tour from a woman who lived in Terezin for 18 months before being sent to Auschwitz and eventually a labor camp before being liberated by the British. Her story was impossibly sadder than the story I heard on Friday. We were standing in the children's museum where we stopped in a room to hear some facts about the camp. Pictures of children who had lived in Lidice and died during the war played while she was taking, and mid sentence she stopped and said "oh there's my sister" and later again to say "and that's my cousin." Though the pauses didn't seem to phase her we were all shocked and overcome. At the end of her tour she told us more about her story. We found out she had come to Terezin with her entire family. Her grandmother was sent to Auschwitz almost immediately and her father died soon after in the camp. After 18 months she was sent with her sister, mother, and cousin to Auschwitz. Her sister and cousin were too young to qualify for a labor camp and her mother was too old. Though our guide was too young to be sent to a labor camp, a guard mistook a five for a nine on her papers. Thinking she was four years older than she was, he sent her to be chosen for labor camps. She told us she shouldn't have lived. I cannot imagine how it would feel to view your survival as a mistake while your entire family had perished. We visited the crematorium which just felt entirely creepy in every way. I got out of there as fast as I could.

Baraks in Terezin

Autopsy Table in the Crematorium

      We ate a surprisingly cheerful lunch before going to the Gestapo Prison. This site felt much more real than the actual concentration camp next door. Political prisoners, prostitutes, and others were held here along with Jews who had committed small crimes in the camp such as walking on the sidewalk or smoking a cigarette. The hardest moment was when our group of fifteen squeezed into a small room with only a hole in the wall about four inches by four inches large only to learn that about 60 Jewish prisoners would be held in the room, most suffocating to death from lack of air. Suddenly the room felt much more crowded as my lungs imagined the lack of air. Another interesting moment was a room filled with surprisingly nice sinks and mirrors. This room was created as part of a beautifying project meant to make the camp look much nicer for Red Cross inspectors. The tour for the inspection was planned down to the second to ensure the inspectors would see the great 'culture' and 'freedom' the Jews were given. The room with the sinks was supposed to be shown as a communal shaving area, but no plumbing was ever installed. The room was locked up never to be used.

Entrance to the Gestapo Prison

      The whole weekend was extremely emotional and a completely unique experience I will never forget. I'm extremely nervous to visit Auschwits in a few days after seeing Terezin, I can't imagine a more depressing place, and I'm not sure my emotions can handle it. It was also a bit strange to visit a concentration camp on my 21st birthday; the day was definitely not at all about me, and I honestly forgot it was my birthday. I do not regret going at all, who can say they had such an eye opening experience on one of their biggest birthdays?
      This past weekend I spent doing work almost every minute. I wrote a paper, studied for two tests, and prepared two presentations. I did take one break to go to the Sparta vs Jablonec game! It was so much fun and nothing like American sporting events. The entire crowd was totally engaged in every moment, chanting and jumping in unison. A smoke bomb went off at one point which was pretty cool and crazy. The food and beer were impossibly cheap; I guess I'm just used to insanely priced food and drinks at sporting events in the States. It was pretty funny watching, mostly because I couldn't yell like I usually do. I don't know enough Czech soccer terms to yell anything worthwhile. In fact, I yelled at the forwards to check at one point and quickly realized it must have sounded like I was yelling Czech which made no sense seeing as both of the teams were Czech. Overall it was amazing and I definitely want to learn more about a few of the players. I'm going to try to go to another game to buy a jersey and watch without a crowd of American students around me. It was one of my favorite experiences so far!

Enjoying a Beer at the Game!

      I'm leaving for our traveling seminar bright and early tomorrow. We're going to Krakow first, then Auschwits, then we'll drive back through the Czech Republic stopping in Brno, and ending in Vienna. I'll try to update my blog between each stop so I don't get too backed up (I know my posts are already too long for most of you, sorry about that). Until then, I can't wait to get on the road! =D

Na Zdraví
Patty